Life Without Mother

Dear Friend,

Did you ever hear the acronym “JOY” growing up? As in, “We must grow in J.O.Y.“? I did. More than once. And while it made total sense, the simplicity of it seemed more and more childish as I “grew up” — in reality, as I grew in age, I grew in my childishness to presume this Biblical principle was too simplistic.

J.O.Y. — What does it mean? It’s the “order of ops” for the Christian life: Jesus. Others. You. As in, the greatest commandment, followed by the second, followed by the basic instinct built into our human dignity.¹

Now, I’ve talked about “joy” in grief before — that inner sense of assurance in Christ, the hope of an end to pain and suffering assured by my peace with God through Jesus’ atonement for my sins.² But, does the above principle of “J.O.Y.” apply to grief?

Of course! As a believer, regardless of circumstance, we love the LORD above all else and with all that we are, then we extend the love and grace He’s given us to those around us (no matter who), finally — and this is the wonder of God’s grace to us! — in so humbling ourselves, we experience the comfort and freedom from despair with which our otherwise inward focus would ensnare us.

What does this look like, then?

JESUS. He is our mainstay. Our anchor. To know His sacrifice and even now how He stands before the Throne of God interceding for us — He is the example of humility unto the grief of death itself.³ His own death. At the hands of the very ones He died for. Thus, I think of His work — the anchor of my joy (as I described above) — and consider my own part in it. He knows my griefs and shares in them in a way that no other person ever could. When I look to the cross of Christ and His resurrection, my grief is swallowed up by the victory I have in Him!

Even so, it is His example that comforts and frees all the more: if the very GOD of creation would submit Himself to the worst of all griefs on my behalf, how can I not also submit to the daily service of others even in the face of (very real) grief? Speaking of…

OTHERS. Honestly, this is almost deceptively simple. And from the same passage I referenced above (Philippians 2). Paul says it loud and clear:

“[I]f you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.“⁴

Yet, how does that connect to grief? In a practical sense, I’ve found that the more time I spend in prayer and service of others’ needs, my heart simply does not have time to wallow in despair. Even when sitting with others in their grief, seeking ways to encourage their hearts in moments of darkness, I find my own heart comforted. And my own grief does not seem as overwhelming as before.

YOU. (Or, for the sake of this analysis, ME.) Following the two priorities above — centering my gaze on the finished work of Christ and living that truth through the focus of serving others — I find myself more and more free from the snare of despair. (Like that little rhyme?) Granted, friend, it takes both the work of the Spirit within me (and His providential timing) as well as intentionality in disciplining this attitude of humility.

Honestly, I’m still figuring it out. And the reality is that nothing will ever erase the pain of loss and suffering. But, every day I am experiencing more and more peace in the process. And joy. Near giddiness when I consider the grace of God in Christ! And how it all comes back to the cross.

Another cliche we often say is that “Jesus” is the answer to everything. BUT IT’S TRUE. With any question, with any struggle, set your eyes on the finished work of Christ in His death and resurrection and I believe you will soon find yourself as amazed as I am!

Increasingly more JOY-ful in Christ,
Hannah

1. Matthew 22:36-40 ↩︎
2. Some prior posts to reference on the topic of “joy in suffering”: I Will Not Be Shaken, The Girl with Steel Cheeks, Joy, Overwhelming Pain Brings Overwhelming Joy ↩︎
3. Hebrews 7:24-25, Philippians 2:5-11 ↩︎
4. Philippians 2:1-4 ↩︎