Life Without Mother

Dear Friend,

I’m in my time of dancing, friend! And how freeing this is! My prayer in this is to embrace the celebration of God’s grace in every moment. The countless reasons for joy: first, salvation itself, but even the day-to-day little things (like finding an entire collection of my favorite blue pens at the store to replace my well-used ones).

Celebrating the lives of my young nieces and nephews — and the ones soon to show their faces to the world! Celebrating a good (tasting, not healthy) sandwich from Chick-fil-a and a free fry — and celebrating the consistency of running three times in a week! (To be clear, that is a HUGE win for me these days.) Celebrating the ways I get to keep up with my long-distance friends — and the new friends I’m making with a new job and new church!

ALL the celebration! And being quick to encourage others in celebration. Not the trite “look on the bright side” when facing suffering, but in these moments and seasons of joy, eagerly jumping in to the exhortation of God’s goodness in seasons of joy expressed!

Dear friend, does all of this sound too good to be true? I used to be encumbered with such thoughts myself. That persistent cloud over every moment of joy. I couldn’t shake it. And I know that many others — perhaps even you, my friend — are experiencing that cloud now. In which case, it’s not your fault to not feel like celebrating. I’ve been there. (Reread some of my letters if you struggle to believe me.)

Even so, on the flip side, it is not of my own doing that I feel like celebrating now — it is the grace of God to me right now in this season of my story.

This distinction is important. It is not (always)¹ our fault to suffer. And, it is not (entirely) our doing to experience a happiness inclined toward celebration.² It is God’s grace that we suffer and God’s grace that we celebrate.

Are you in your season of suffering, my friend? Lean into the LORD’s strength. He knows intimately where you are and how you feel. Far better than even your closest friend ever could. Praise Him for His faithfulness and His promises of peace and hope and joy.

Do you share with me in this season of celebration? Praise the LORD! For His faithfulness and gracious kindness in providing the opportunity to dance in the field of His love to us! (Remember, we were already in the field — secure in His love from the moment He called us His own. We just didn’t have the strength to stand for a time.)

Friend, in full transparency, I’m navigating this season without much prior knowledge. Lots of learning along the way. And prayer. Truly, as I mentioned before, it has been my prayer in this season to not miss the great joy of celebration. And, that He would make me ever sensitive to those still trudging up the hill of suffering.

Because I understand. Oh, friend, how I understand the frustration, the longing for relief, the depression and anxiety of wanting to be better and yet wondering if it’s even possible. The conflict of doubt and faith when those doubts seem to especially heap shame upon my shoulders — shame that is not mine in the work of Jesus Christ.

My goal in all of this: praise the LORD.

In suffering. In celebration. For all of it is by His grace and for His glory — which, blessedly so, is for my good!

Friend, do you feel the giddy excitement in my words?? I dearly hope so! For is it not wonderful that the very GOD who in His love decided to create the universe and all within it — this GOD looked upon me with grace and died in my place that I would have peace with Him forever and be secure in that love that initiated the universe. Wow. He’s so good!

My friend, don’t miss the magnificent, miraculous work He is doing in you.

In suffering and in celebration,
Hannah

1. Of course, there is consequence for sin — in which cases our suffering is self-inflicted as a direct result. (Read “Are You Done?” for more on this idea.) However, persecution and the testing through trials of uncontrollable circumstances (i.e. loss) is allowed by God for the perfecting of our faith because He wants us to know Him deeper than we would ever choose on our own. (So much more I could say to this point, but I’ll need to organize my thoughts — and scripture — more before that!) ↩︎
2. A note here to read “Do You Want to Be Happy?” for more on this idea. ↩︎