Dear Friend,
Do you want to be happy? This was addressed to a room full of people grieving dead loved ones. The question behind this question is: Is our happiness tied to suffering? Even those without the hope of Christ manage to separate the two, or recognize the opportunity for strengthened character through tribulation. How much more so should we as believers see this? How often scripture speaks of this very concept!1
A young friend of mine is going through some turbulence in her life and is grieving her current loss of stability. I was reminded of this question as she and I spoke. There is earthly hope in her direct situation of regained stability. However, when we lose a loved one, there is no earthly hope of regaining that relationship. The end date of that grief is the final restoration of Heaven. So the suffering would be justifiably longer — yet, the question equally applies. Because it insinuates the inner desire to live in the hope of eternal life in Christ or to live in the despair of the world. Which will we choose?
I’ve explored the integrated nature of joy and suffering, but how does happiness tie in? From experience, joy often feels like the foundation on which I can rest for the duration of suffering. Happiness is different. Perhaps best described as the expression of joy when our mind dwells in good things? Even a joke that pulls us out of the pain of a skinned knee distracts our mind from the pain to the delight of a play on concepts for a moment? Days that the sun comes out or (for those like me) when the overcast skies indicate rain?
Of course, those “good things” could be perverted in the mind of the individual, leading to wrongful happiness over perceived good. But, as a believer, when our understanding of “good” aligns with God, we are happy over what makes Him happy.
But, how does happiness therefore coincide with suffering?
I think it relieves it. Happiness allows us to reconfigure reality in our hearts, putting suffering in its place. It reminds us that our life is not one of suffering, but of temporary suffering. This pain has an “expiration date.” This doesn’t mean when we allow happiness in that we won’t ever feel sad again, but that we see the sadness is just for a time (however long that season might be).
Y’know, friend, it’s kind of funny: a lot of people will express their understanding of emotions being that they’re not controllable, just reactionary to circumstance. And yet, do we not often choose not to be happy when we’ve become so comfortable with pain or bitterness or despair?
If I’m honest, there were years that I didn’t want to be happy. The suffering got to be more familiar than being “okay” and I was more afraid (and sometimes felt guilty) to think I could actually be happy without faking it.
Do you want to be happy? This summer, my heart was ready. As soon as this question was asked, everything in me wanted to sing, “Yes!” And that weekend the LORD gave me inspiration to write again.
This time in happiness! There is great joy and happiness in these words! Of course, sorrow comes in the night, and just a week or so ago, there were a few days of unexplained sorrow. But, my desire is for not simply the relief of suffering, rather for the active participation that happiness brings!
To take part in life — not as some martyr struggling to keep her head above the waves — instead dancing on the water!
How kind the LORD is! How patient and gracious! The loving Father who cares for the suffering of His children, and gives them good gifts. Sometimes the simple gift of a smile. A laugh. A hope in the glimpse of what is to come. A new strength founded in His promises and very nature — the same nature of His Spirit who dwells within me!
Friend, perhaps my next letter may express a new sorrow, but today I celebrate the reminder that even the sorrows to come will not last forever — no, one day He will wipe away every tear for the last time!2
Happy and thankful,
Hannah
Life Without Mother 
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