Life Without Mother

During this morning’s sermon, my pastor spoke on Exodus 2, about the faith and courage of Moses’s mother to proactively trust in God’s provision and protection as she acted in faith. This inspiring and convicting message prompted me to ask even my very-single-and-definitely-not-yet-a-mother self whether or not I had such faith in God and the courage to act on that faith. However, the message also brought to mind three faithful, courageous women in my life.

First, my dear mother who, as of nearly two weeks ago, has been with Jesus for four years now. Faith and courage. Two of many attributes my mother had in spades. Was she perfect in that faith and courage? No. But was it evident to the end? Yes.
For those who may not know, I had an older sister. As a matter of fact, I was not even considered a possibility for a while. My parents had my older sister, Annette, and my brother, Joel — their happy little family of four. But, just before her fifth birthday, God brought Annette Home. Understandably, my parents were distraught. I’ve read some of my mother’s journals from that time, including her own account of the accident and its aftermath. It was heartbreaking.
But my mother and my father trusted in God. They knew that He could bless them (and already had) beyond anything they could ever imagine. He gave them three more little girls to “train up in the way they should go, so that when they are old, they will not depart from it,” and train them they did.
My senior year, Mom shared with me more about the accident than she ever had before. She held me as, for the first time, I mourned the loss of my big sister who I never got to meet, the sister that my mother (as I can now imagine) probably did not have a day go by that she didn’t remember that sweet smile and the warm cuddles. Mom shared about her depression after her father, my Pop, died when I was twelve. How there were some days that simply the thought of one of us finding her kept her alive. God gave her a strength that astounds me. In the face of much loss, she did not lose sight of the joy in loving God and serving others, especially her family. She had many dark days. And it was during those times that I remember some ugly moments for my family. But God redeemed those moments, those memories. He brought reconciliation, a growth in faith, an opportunity for mended relationships to leave no regrets.
Her faith in God never wavered. It was something she never took for granted and never ceased telling others about. Her courage in the midst of so much loss—of two babies she never met, one darling little girl, her father—her courage to keep going, to keep caring for the little ones still in her charge and those around her, to keep proclaiming His goodness and faithfulness even when she didn’t always understand. My mother as not perfect, but there is no disputing Whose she was (and is) and Who she served.

Second, my sister-in-love (as my mother used to say), Katie. Countless times growing up, I longed for that older sister whom I felt I was missing. God answered that prayer in this wonderful sister of mine. How she could stand to be around that annoying brother of mine, I couldn’t understand for the longest time, but I’m so thankful she could (and still can)! Because now I’ve been able to see the amazing mother she is for her little ones as she strives to also train them up with love and discipline.
As a military wife and mom, she’s had to go through these cycles of single-motherhood, all the while with the uncertainty of whether or not each cycle will become endless. Then she also has to be prepared for the every-couple-of-years possibility of packing up everything they own to move across the country, or world! What courage and faith she has in taking just one step at a time, starting with the first step out of bed each morning. She is always giving all she has into her kids and my brother. She’s truly an inspiration. I couldn’t say it any better than my brother’s sweet post today.
And, as a personal added bonus, God gifted me this sister-in-love to pass down the motherly wisdom my mother gave to her with Hailey. Little truths and principles that I only saw in action, Katie heard verbatim and has been able to enact as well as share with me. I can’t wait for the days that I have my own little ones and can have those same wisdoms passed to me.

Third, my step-mother of almost three years now, Rhonda. This woman. Talk about courage and faith. From ten years of single-parenting, to then three years (and counting) of parenting step-daughters. I remember the summer she began dating my dad and her sharing with me how she had been waiting all of those years for a godly man, not willing to settle for anyone less than a man who loved God first. This is not to say she was merely passively waiting by for the man to come along—rather, she was busy raising her children, not just those of blood, but the students who filled her classroom each year, loving them all with the love of the Lord.
This did not change in the massive transition of single-working-mother to wife and step-mother in a city seven hours away from the place she’d called home for so long. She stepped into loving her husband and loving her step-children and new grandchildren, loving them all with the same love, even when some (one) of them might not have received that love so readily at first. She didn’t shy away from the life God called her to. And I hope that I would face such transitions and uphill climbs with such grace and love. I’ve heard the view is beautiful.

These three women are many things, “mother” just being one of them. But their examples as mothers give me hope and encouragement for my own time someday. In the meantime, I will gratefully appreciate all that they are.

Love you, Rhonda.
Love you, Katie.
Love and miss you, Mom. I know when it comes to your motherhood, Jesus looked you straight in the eye and said, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”