Life Without Mother

“How was Germany?” The question asked by so many people as I have rejoined my friends and family, often followed by, “I saw all of your pictures!”.
And my answer: “It was amazing. But the best part was what happened behind the photos.”

Because God changed my life this summer. He wrecked my world even more so than He did last April. My heart has been changed, most definitely for the better, and the key to this is that it is still being changed. The key to living life as a Christian is the acknowledgement that after we have made the decision to repent from our old lives and believe in Christ, we also must make the decision to then pursue Christ as He pursued you and me. I think why we get so complacent in our walks with Him is just that—it the mentality of a casual walk. We think that we are doing enough just to believe, to go to church, to sing a few worship songs with hands raised, to teach a few Bible studies, to say a couple of verses to friends. But the questions we must ask ourselves, and the Lord has asked me this summer: are You intimate with the Lord? Do you know when He speaks to you and what His will is? Do you live every day in pursuit of Him?
You see, Christ has pursued us unto death. Have we pursued Him unto death? Some might say, “yes! I would die for Him!” Would you? Maybe so. Maybe if someone was standing with a gun to your head you would. But what about when you went to see a movie that took our Lord’s name in vain? (Wait, it was only a couple of times in a two hour movie.) What about when you passed by the outcasts at church because you haven’t seen your friends in a week and that’s the minister’s job to meet the new people? (I use these two examples because I am guilty of both. More times than not, unfortunately.)
These little hassles, typically thought of in what most would categorize the “gray” area, are examples in which we have the opportunity to die for Him. Because they involve dying to ourselves. What do you do to be more like Christ? Do you live by His example? Do you know His example?
The commonly used “What would Jesus do?” question is so over-used and yet under-obeyed that we ask it jokingly but never truly grasp the immensity of such a question. It always has an answer and yet we dismiss the answer so readily that now we dismiss the question altogether. What would Jesus do? He would do what glorifies the Father. Does watching “soft porn” (which is still porn by the way) in movies or purposefully choosing to watch movies/listen to music with language or speaking negatively about people or passing up the outcasts in favor of our comfort zone—do any of these glorify our Father in Heaven? It is so hard these days to distinguish between the world and “Christians”. Where is the radical life and heart change that comes with a life pursuing Christ and dying to the simple, temporary pleasures of our flesh? When did we need to watch Game of Thrones or read Twilight or Harry Potter in order to connect with people so we can share the Gospel? We are all connected simply by our brokenness! Our need for a Savior! Of course, I’m not implying we can’t partake in secular activities. I go to football games and cheer on my team along with everyone else. I read plenty of secular literature for classes as an English major. I’ll watch TV shows and listen to secular music. But God has convicted me to examine what I allow myself to watch or read or listen to or partake in and measure it to His standard of having “not even a hint of any kind of impurity” (Eph 5:3) in our lives.
This all seems like a lot of “don’t do this” and “say no to that” but that’s where this summer comes in. God showed me FREEDOM!! True freedom from walking with Jesus. Throughout the course of my trip to Germany and the many hours of solitude spent in reading His word as well as plenty of various novels, God revealed my own lack of intimacy with Him. He showed me that while I had a relationship with Him, I didn’t fully know Him. And it was the most humiliating thing to learn. Even though I loved Him and trusted Him (at least, as I thought) there was still way more of me that I had not given to His care and it was due to worrying about my own needs and my pain-clouded vision and the simple fact that I hadn’t allowed Jesus to completely transform and fill my heart day by day. It is a daily choice to pick up my cross. But more so than picking up my cross is the daily commitment to (as the lyrics of my first song read) “chase after You”!
We must pursue Christ as He first pursued us. When He died for us and took our sins to the grave, His pursuit of us was complete. Our pursuit of Him however, will not end until we see Jesus face to face! Salvation comes with the cross, sanctification comes with the chase after Christ. It is marked by us beginning to see each day and each activity as a new way to serve our fellow brothers and sisters and the lost, and in doing so, serve and grow closer to Christ!

As I look forward to the next year (and really every year until I go Home), at first exhaustion and discouragement fell upon me by how much pouring out there will be. Then God shifted my view just a little. He showed me that each moment I pour out on others gives Him a chance to pour into me anew! And I so look forward to each day that I get to grow ever closer to the One who made me, who forgave me, and every day walks with me, loving me through every hard season and celebration moments, and constantly displaying His power, goodness, patience, faithfulness, peace and joy! It’s not easy to deny oneself and live like Christ, but the complete physical, mental, emotional and spiritual freedom that results is beyond comparison to the temporary pleasures of this world.

Colossians 3:1-17
Galatians 5:13-14
Hannah:)